It's scary.
It's really frightening when you can feel how those days are coming closer, how you feel your mood change, how everything starts to seem pointless and grey.
Just when you think you're getting better, you can feel how the sadness is pouring over you once more.
Those days when you just give up on everything, you just want to lie in bed and not do anything, there's no point either way.
But you have to continue with a fake smile and as cheerful as always just so people won't worry.
The scariest part of it all is that you don't know if you'll be strong enough to stay alive this time.